It is absurd and anti-life to be a part of a system that compels you to listen to a stranger reading poetry when you want to learn to construct buildings, or to sit with a stranger discussing the construction of buildings when you want to read poetry.
Unschooling & superheroes
Posted April 16th, 2008 by ArpA while back I alluded to a paper I wrote in high school that I was particularly proud of. It was THE big high school assignment, an American studies paper counting for grades in both History and English. For me, it was a no-brainer - I wrote about comic books.
I'd always liked them as a kid and had rediscovered them 2 years earlier. Things had really changed. Serious stories and brilliant artwork meant that I blew a lot of cash on comic books every week. I'd always liked science-fiction (Journey to the Centre of the Earth has been a lifelong favorite) and the modern comic, with it's realism and mature stories, was an absolute hit with me.
Fast -forward some 15 years and I don't have the time or money for comic books. But I do need to unwind and acquired some cartoon series of Batman and the Justice League for my own downtime. Not surprisingly, the kids dig watching the shows, especially M who is amazingly engaged by the whole thing.
So I got to thinking more about it. Years back I had read Bettelheim's The Uses of Enchantment: the Meaning and Importance of Fairy Tales, which argued that they support and liberate children's feelings. In a nutshell (or rather, what I can remember 
), kids need to see that really bad acts have really bad consequences. Like the witch in Hansel & Gretel deserves to be shoved into an oven because she was planning on eating the kids. Trish probably remembers this better than me, but the child feels that the consequences should match the potential crime and seeing it happen validates their feelings. Abridged, Disneyfied versions of Grimm's tales don't let this happen at all.
I also thought how until the modern age, mythology and tall tales were so popular. Paul Bunyan was the original Superman, a force who was truly larger than life. Mythology had stories of good and evil, with the foibles of mankind intertwined. What kid doesn't like that stuff?
But like the comic books of the 80s, cartoons have changed too. I recently got ahold of the Aquaman cartoons from the 60s and they SUCK. Every story is the same - there's trouble, the bad guy has a moustache, Aquaman asks his sea animal friends for help, good triumphs over evil. They were pathetic, but they held my attention as a kid.
Even the Super Friends and Spider-Man shows I loved as kid were very lame in comparison with the modern options. Unexpectedly, the modern Batman & Justice League have been fodder for a lot of discussion with M on a very wide range of topics:
- psychology & split-personality
- moons & why they orbit planets
- global warming & the why the icecaps are important
- the pathology & use of fear
- vigilantism & the law
- politics & dogma
- archaeology
- mythology
- trials and legal procedures
- radiation
- genetic engineering
- good & evil (no duh, right?)
- deception and fighting for survival
- finding common ground with different people
- how groups come together for a common purpose
- and on and on
It's been very surprising. These shows are entertaining, but are not made for kids per se. There's no Wonder Twins (the Cousin Oliver's of the superhero world), no pure slapstick, no cookie cutter storylines.
Now I will say that they are more violent than I remember the old shows being. We talk about that too, and I'm trusting that our examples of how people should communicate in real-life will supercede seeing people being thrown through walls. But I'm not being overbearing and preachy about it because M knows. Sometimes it's exciting and sometimes he says they should have talked about it. I'll have to give him the benefit of the doubt as we've had a lot of fun watching the shows and talking about all the issues that get raised.
I guess the point is that the opportunities for learning are legion. It happens in unexpected places and sometimes, it's just damn fun too.
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fairy tales
I've been involved in a one-on-one discussion with another unschooler about fairy tales. It began when I invited her daughter to join a homeschooling class hosted by Waldorf-inspired Fairy Una Wildwood (www.fairyuna.com)
Mom declined stating that although she indulges her daughter when the need for pink and fu-fu (sp?) arises, she won't go out of her way to encourage it. She continued defending her stance with blah, blah, blah and ended with "i want my daughter to grow up strong and confident."
Welllll, welll, welll, you know I had to respond. It was a gut reaction response, just going on instincts. I've been meaning to back it up with something, some research or quotes or something. Bettelheim's book sounds like a good place to start.
Who knows for sure what a kid will get out of it?
I need to re-read the book - at the time (before parenthood) it was an eye-opener. I'm sure the experiences of parenthood will shine a new light on things.
We should check out Fairy Una sometime - she sounds like fun.
Uses of Enchantment
Actually, The Uses of Enchantment is less about consequences, but more about validating the inner feelings of children in an age-appropriate way. The author, Bettelheim, argues for reading the old fashioned, and violent, fairy tales to children, such as those written by the Brothers Grimm. He explains how even very young children are capable of having angry, violent feelings, and that they need to be validated. When we only give them watered-down versions of fairy tales, such as those made by Disney, we do not speak to their needs. When a child has a violent feeling, but then all the adults in their life refuse to speak about it (e.g. "You don't really hate me!" or "No one is ever going to hurt you!", etc.) then they begin to think that their feelings, and indeed themselves, are bad. Also, even young children have a knowledge that very bad things can happen, and in talking about them, we can help them to get over their anxiety. Bettelheim also argues that children will naturally tune into the aspect of the fairy tale that speaks to them at their developement level - there is no need, as parents, to filter the stories because of our perceived concerns about their age.
Coincidently, I just read Hansel and Gretel to J (age almost 3) for the first time last week. She was utterly riveted, especially to the part about how the witch wants to eat them all up. I mean, when you think about it, it's kind of gross. But isn't this one of the primal human fear - that someone will consume us? J is obviously working through that in her mind, because she has been asking me to read Hansel and Gretel again and again!
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